


Blood on Her Hands

by LunaRowena



Series: Watcher Calendula [5]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Deadfire, Deadfire Spoilers, F/F, priest of berath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28636944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaRowena/pseuds/LunaRowena
Summary: Why do all decisions come down to the Watcher?
Relationships: The Watcher/Xoti (Pillars of Eternity)
Series: Watcher Calendula [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533680
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	Blood on Her Hands

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aban_ataashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/gifts).



> Hug prompt #7 - tired hug.

Cal doesn’t hear the knocking at her cabin door at first. Her vision blurs as she stares at the papers on her desk. Her notes, trying to make sense of the situation. Trying to find the right answer. There is no right answer.

The door creaks open. “Cal?” Xoti asks softly.

Cal gestures her in, unspeaking. She should say something. Xoti deserves that from her. But Xoti has always had a way of getting her to actually speak.

Xoti closes the length of the small room and places her hand on Cal’s shoulder. Cal leans into the physical touch, a rare moment where she is not separated by her plate armor. Although less and less rare with Xoti these days.

Xoti squeezes her shoulder. “Nobody’s seen much of you recently, and everybody’s been worried…”

“And they nominated you to check that I was still breathing?”

“Well, we occasionally hear you swearing so we know you’re still breathing. I was sent to see if you were alright.”

“No,” Cal says bluntly.

There’s silence and Xoti stands, waiting.

Cal leans forward on the desk, resting her head in her hands. “It’s all fucked up, Xo.”

“I know,” Xoti says quietly.

“The Huana, the Vailians, the Rauatai… I’m going to have to kill someone.” Cal runs her fingers through her hair. “I have to get to Ukaizo, and I’m going to have to kill someone to get there.” She takes in a ragged breath. “And I have to decide who deserves to die.”

“You are the Chosen of Berath.”

“When I decided to follow Berath, I didn’t realize how much death I would be the cause of.” Cal laces her fingers through Xoti’s. “I’m so… I’m so tired of killing people.”

Xoti pulls Cal up, drawing her into a hug. Cal breathes deeply as she buries her face in Xoti’s hair.

“You’re not alone. We’re all here with you.”

Cal doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to be reminded of the blood she’s placing on Xoti’s hands, too. But right now she holds Xoti tightly, trying to pretend she can just be young and in love. Pretending that the Deadfire and her god don’t expect her to be their judge, jury, and executioner.


End file.
